It has been one month since my last post. Many times I have thought I should sit down and write but it never happened. Life got so crazy around here!
The main issue was my dad and this weird illness that seemed to begin out of the blue. He is 88 years old and other than a cold here and there has never really been sick so this was shocking to him and the family. Turns out he has developed an auto-immune disease that is quite painful (Polymyalgic Rheumatica). He has been in so much pain and trying to get him the proper treatment for this has been horrific. When Mom and Dad moved to the area in July, they immediately made appointment to become established with a primary care doctor. The first available appointment was in November. Because they are were in good health, we all thought nothing of it. When Dad became sick in August, it became clear we do not have enough doctors in our area. NO ONE would see him since he wasn’t an ‘established patient’. We took him to Urgent Care and the Emergency room twice and each time, they suggested Ibuprofen and that we should make an appointment with a rheumatologist because his blood work indicated he had a problem. This was not the least bit helpful. He cannot have an appointment to a rheumatologist without a referral and he can’t get the referral because he doesn’t have a primary care doctor which he cannot get an appointment with until November. What a vicious cycle. I spent many, many hours on the phone just calling doctors randomly to try and get him in. It was truly a crazy experience.
Finally as luck would have it, I had an appointment for my annual physical. While there, I told my primary care doctor of this whole debacle and he felt terrible for my father. In an act of true human kindness, my doctor said he would see my father. My doctor isn’t accepting new patients but he walked me to the reception area and told the scheduler to get my father in that same week. OK – now we were making some progress. The same doctor talked to his partners and one of them said they would take my parents as new patients. Even more progress! At his visit, Dad was prescribed steroids which are helping but he is still very uncomfortable. The doctors are working on getting the level correct to reduce his pain. Now that he is ‘established’ with a doctor I was able to get him an appointment with a rheumatologist Except the rheumatologists are all scheduling months out. Sigh.
Well I know how to play this game. Dad is now scheduled for two appointments with two different rheumatologists (and hopefully they don’t read quilting blogs or I will be busted on this)! He has an appointment with one in December and the other in April. I asked he be put of the ‘cancellation list’ at both offices. I have a reminder in my phone to call each one every week and see if he can take a cancellation because I don’t honestly have any confidence they will remember to call if one opens up. With any luck, he will get in sooner than December but at least we are making progress.
As my daughter-in-law said, Dad has been the victim of our very broken medical system. What a wildly irritating experience this has been. As for Dad, I am grateful he is feeling a bit better but he is still having so much pain so we need to keep working this broken system until all of this can be resolved.
While visiting with my dad and mom, we have been looking at old photos. They are such a treasure – here is one with Dad (left side), his little brother and his younger sister. This was taken in their back yard in about 1947 or so.
During all of this, there was a family wedding celebration. My son came out from Brooklyn, NY for a week. It was a great distraction for Mom and Dad to see some family (though Dad was unable to go to the reception).
I loved having Kyle here – we went to the beach, did some hiking, he jogged alongside me at my very slow pace, and we ate loads of yummy food.
Our visit with Kyle was followed by a visit from my friend Sophia. This was also a great treat! I created a mini shop-hop and we toured around visiting quilt shops. The state fair was happening so we headed over there, specifically to see the quilt exhibits. We also did some hiking, and again, ate some yummy food!
Because she is a veteran with a can of spray baste, she helped me use it to baste a lap quilt. It wasn’t messy and, was in fact, super easy. Since she left, I sprayed two more projects. My only issue thus far was having the spray nozzle clog up. I think I have that all fixed though.
Best of all, Sophia taught me how to do some basic paper piecing. Yahoo! I can’t say I enjoy it all that much, but I can see the benefits of it for certain types of projects.
The holiday project on the right side has been in my unfinished pile of projects for years. Sophia and I had taken a class together back in 2016 and this was one of the projects. Once I set it aside, I totally and completely forgot how to make the little trees. My patient friend showed me and I got the trees finished, just seven short years later. Hahaha. The block on the left is just practice. I printed a few papers to use as practice so I won’t forget again! I have to keep practicing this or it won’t stick. This isn’t how my brain works so it is tough for me to remember the process.
My heart breaks for you and your family over the disaster of medical care for your father. We know this saga well and I TRY not to rage about it, but it is HARD. We are in Aberdeen, WA, and rural care is tough, plus we must travel at least to Tacoma for many things. Being in need of medical attention and elderly in this country is a gigantic PITA as well as enraging. I am sending every hopeful vibe your way for some speedy (speedier) help for your father. Thank god for GPs, right?
Your granddaughter – wow! I have followed you for years so it’s a real treat to watch your grands grow up. Thanks for all you do, and … hang in there. xo
Hi Elizabeth – I haven’t heard from you in a long while. I suspected this post would resonate with lots of readers. People in our generation are now helpers/advocates for our parents. It is a difficult thing to navigate the very broken medical system. Aberdeen to Tacoma is a long stretch! We are in Port Orchard and our choices for rheumatologists are North Seattle and Bainbridge Island. Neither is convenient. Ugh.
Best of luck to you and thank you for the good vibes you have sent our way.
Bernie, prayers for your dad and mom. Medical issues are devastating and I wholeheartedly agree our medical system is broken. My three year old great grandson woke up one morning recently with his face so swollen he was unrecognizable, he said his head hurt. We looked all over for bug bite as kids had played in my yard night before; no bites. My granddaughter, his mother called his primary care doctor and was advised no available appointments for six weeks. She explained the swelling and response was take him to ER we have no appointments available. He was born with heart defect and had open heart surgery at age one. She called his cardiologist and was told same thing, no appointments available for four weeks, take him to ER. She took him to our local hospital ER and doctor said he was not familiar with children’s care, didn’t know why he was so swollen and we should take him to children’s hospital in Madeira, two hours away! They gave him Tylenol for head ache! She drove him to children’s hospital and they immediately gave him antihistamine injection, did stat bloodwork, started him on IV fluids and searched his body for spider bite. We live across the road from the Stanislaus River and have lots of spiders and bugs. We have a monthly bug service but critters are still around. Children’s Hospital doctors (3 different doctors) examined him and agreed he was having allergic reaction to something he ate or bug bite. They reviewed foods from previous day, nothing different from his routine diet and thorough exam for spider or bug bite revealed no bites. They did X-ray and scans to be certain his heart was functioning properly, monitored his blood pressure and admitted him to hospital for 24 observation to make sure swelling subsided. Excellent very thorough care! The swelling did go down, Ho no longer complained head ache and they sent him home undiagnosed but significantly improved. Insurance company sent us a letter two weeks later they would not honor the $12,000 bill because it was not considered an emergency. We called and sent follow up letter, child was unrecognizable with swelling, primary care too busy and local er not sufficient knowledge of child care and they sent us to children’s hospital. We have not heard back from insurance company. I agree our medical system is so broken. Not certain there is a recovery. Bless your primary care doctor for seeing your dad and at least getting him started on the care path. Prayers for you all, Dawn
Yikes! That is a horror story. Our experience in the ER was similar. Just give Dad Ibuprofen – WTH? We have been doing that with absolutely no relief. Just ridiculous. I am so glad your great grandson is ok. Best of luck with the ridiculous medical bill. You might need to appeal that bill with the insurance co and it won’t be an easy task. Hang in there and don’t give up!!!!
I’m so sorry that your dad is dealing with so much pain. Yep, I’m with you on the medical things, too, we are dealing with similar issues here. I’m so glad Sophia was able to walk you through spray basting and paper piecing! It’s much easier to have someone show you, right? As always the grands are adorable.
My primary care doctor told me ‘people can get fantastic care in the US – If they can figure out access. In other counties people have access but not to the level of care we have.’ Sad commentary on the current situation and very frustrating for both the sick people and the providers! Have a great day Wendy.
Hi Bernie….I am a good friend of your mother and father….I am so concerned about all this….had absolutely no idea this was going on, of course. They came to visit me just before they decided to move to your area and we had a sweet but too short visit. Your mother was my supervisor at Hewlett-Packard and gave me an opportunity for a great career. And then we became friends. I love your whole family….and always wanted to find a way to marry into it! Please give this message to your parents. I’ll try her cell phone … perhaps the number is still good. If not, I hope she will call me soon. The medical profession is in jeopardy all over the country. Emergency services are the best….just go there! Best love. Barbara Pollock
Hi Barbara! I didn’t know you were a blog reader. How great! Thank you. I passed your message along to Mom. I am sure she will be in touch.
Best, Bernie
I am so sorry you have experienced this, but hooray for your doc for getting right on this. Wonderful that your son was able to come and visit. The grands (no matter the age) bring joy every time they are able to make an appearance. Thank goodness for toothy grins and the start of a new school year. Here’s hoping your father gets in sooner rather than later!
Thank you Kathleen. I think he is feeling a bit better today and we are grateful. Just experiencing each day as it comes! I haven’t seen the girls in a while and look forward to some family time in two weeks.
Hope you are doing well!!
I’m so sorry you are going through this. My daughter was going through this last year trying to get a diagnosis and being sent from one doctor to another with weeks in between appointments – she was doing her own research and booking appointments with multiple specialists and then calling her primary back to get the referrals and doing all this herself instead of the doctor’s office taking care of it. After months on end she finally got her diagnosis and care plan – we too have the auto-immune problems (she and I) but different diseases and my rheumatologist would not take her because he was no longer excepting patients – it would have been a four hour drive for her to see him but I had hoped he would make an exception in this case but I couldn’t get past the nurse! It is beyond frustrating at times. My niece in Texas is going through the same ordeal – we all know it is an auto-immune disease as it runs in the family so much and the symptoms are so much the same she has been trying to get in for close to a year and then switched jobs to another state and had to start all over again.
This unavailability of doctors seems to be very widespread! I am sorry to hear you are also in this sort of situation. Hoping your daughter is able to get some answers soon Karen. Best of luck to you.
Our healthcare system is incredibly broken. I’m so sorry to hear that your father has been in so much pain, and I’m glad that he had a primary care doctor established now. Fingers crossed there is an appointment cancellation and he can be seen sooner than December. It sounds like you made the most of having Kyle out to visit. And what a treat to spend time with a good quilting friend. I hope that other than the obviously stressful health concerns for your father that the rest of their transition there has been smooth in comparison.
That is the crazy thing Yvonne – they have been doing great. Getting used to the area, finding a church they like etc. Now this! It has thrown a wrench in the whole thing. But I am really hoping we are past the worst of it since he is under the care of a doctor and we have someone to ask questions. Take care and enjoy your day!
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I can relate completely as 6 years ago my active healthy 78 year old husband (we were traveling full time in our motorhome) overnight had terrible pain in his large muscles. He was fine sitting or laying down but moving and standing was just too painful. He walked bent over like he was 104. We had our son come drive us back to Boise ID to our primary physican and he was able to prescribe steriods until we could get in to see a specialist. Chips indeed had PMR and has been on steriods ever since. He has been able to establish just the right amount to keep the worst pain at bay and is back to living a normal life. Be encouraged that your Dad will be able to function again without pain. Our medical system is broken on so many levels and I think we can all relate to how frustrating it is try and see specialist. Thank you for your hard work to get your Dad the help he needs. We all need strong advocates when we are dealing with the medical establishment.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, Bernie, but bless you for being such a great advocate and not quitting until you found someone to see him. I hope he continues to feel better and better. So wonderful that you had that visit with your son – times with our adult kids are so precious! Your grand girls are so cute, and growing so much!
I am fortunate to have my sisters – we make a good team of advocates. Mom and Dad seem to be doing well otherwise. When Dad gets full mobility back all will be good. It gets so boring to sit around all day not feeling well. We are on the right track now though!
I am sorry to hear about your father. Your experience mirrors so many others. Yes. We are under-doctored.
Can’t wait to see you to hear more about your mini shop hop.
So sorry you’re dealing with this. Fingers crossed you can snag a cancellation appointment for him soon. Glad you’re able to find some joy here and there.
Thank you – There is plenty of joy to be had. I just want Mom and Dad to get back to normal. It has been a tough time for them. Fortunately, I think things are improving now. Take care, B.
Life is not always fun, especially as we get older.
Aging has its challenges, for sure. I am glad we are a large family and can all help each other out. I feel for older adults who don’t have support. Take care Lynn.
Oh, my, so glad your doctor is a compassionate human being. Best wishes for your dad’s treatment. Take care of yourself too.
Thank you Carole. I was so happy when my doctor offered his help, it nearly made me cry. At that point I was sooooo frustrated. Life seems to be calming down at the moment so we are happy (happier??). Have a lovely day today!
I am glad you were ( are) persistent – I feel so bad for your dad. what a tough situation!!!
Glad your son came and you got a mini shop hop – nice to have some stress relief.
Hope your Dad gets in sooner!!!
Persistence is key. I really feel for people who are unable to advocate for themself and don’t have someone to help. That makes me so sad because our medical system is not simple. If you don’t know how to deal with it, you could find yourself in a whole heap of trouble. Thanks a bunch Alycia.
Love your post! I feel like I’m keeping in touch with you, ha ha. You are doing it! Glad you and Sophia where able to get together. Thanks
Hahaha – Happy to keep in touch with you Sue! I hear about you via Sophia now and then. We had soooo much fun together. Kind of like I had a mini retreat with her. I just loved it. Hope all is well with you. 🙂
Your poor Dad! I hope he is much better and will find a good provider and I’ll pray for his healing. What a good daughter you are! Your PC doc sounds a lot like ours – very compassionate and goes the extra mile. He makes us feel like we are his only patients. My husband’s cardiologist is the same and will call my husband personally with instructions instead of passing information on to his assistants. We’ve been very lucky here, but so many others not so lucky. I’m sure your Mom has been beside herself. So glad your son was there to give the comfort that only a son can give, and also your friend! Does she have any tips to pass along about the spray basting? I like to do that, but mine is kinda messy. I do mine on my design wall, and even though I put old sheets on the floor and try to contain the spray, there is almost always overspray. Did you do yours on the floor?
Thank you Linda. Mom and Dad are both so tired of all of this. But understanding what is happening and starting meds that help relieve a good portion of the pain has been very helpful to all of us. I think things are on the right track. This isn’t something that heals and goes away so understanding the best ways to manage it and keep the discomfort at its lowest are key.
As for spray basting, my (VERY uneducated) guess is you might be spraying too much? Sophia had me do the basting on my cutting table. No overspray and I was doing it over carpet with nothing on the ground. I was really skeptical but it was totally fine. The next project was too big for that table so I did it on the kitchen island. Same thing. No overspray. Here is a link for you that I got from Wendy (Pieceful Thoughts). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFqfYQdyzo8. It was helpful to me. She moves her layers around more (sprays outside and goes back inside) but there is good information here. Really took less spray than I thought it would. I am happy I figured this out and grateful Sophia was here guiding the process. It was lots easier than I thought it would be.
Hi Bernie,
I am so sorry to hear about your father. As our parents age, sometimes life throws big boulders in our paths. We as the children feel so helpless for our parents. We want to care for them the way they cared for us. I will pray that your father gets in to see the Dr. MUCH sooner than expected! I will pray for Patience and Peace for you as you navigate this new adventure in your life. Hugs, Heidi P.S. I loved the pictures of your precious granddaughters. What fun ages for both, and for YOU too! Those pictures made me smile.
Hi there, How nice to hear from you. I appreciate your kindness about Mom and Dad. Yesterday and today have been better for Dad. It seems like the inflammation is calming down which means less pain. That is a big relief. We appreciate your prayers and good thoughts. The girls are so much fun. We absolutely loving being grandparents. Happy to share these cute pictures with you too!!
Bernie, I pray your dad does get to see a doctor soon and finds more pain relief. It’s hard to watch our loved ones suffer. What a great photo O’s him as a young man! Thanks for sharing about the quilt that was tucked away and forgotten. Many of us can relate! Paper piecing is a great skill but I would need another tutorial. The process requires some mental gymnastics!
Definitely requires mental gymnastics. That is a perfect description. Since I cannot for the life of me do a cartwheel or hand stand, you can see the issue. Hahaha. Appreciate your note Tracie. Hope you are doing well. 🙂